Let me leave this here. As many of you know, I love sharing the things I’ve learned while living this beautiful life God gave me. There are times in life when you need to stop apologizing and focus on yourself and your goals.
I offended someone once and it was no small offense. This was a situation that, if we sat down to discuss it openly, different people would understand it differently. Some people I spoke to said wrong is wrong, but in this situation I wasn’t the only one to blame. Some people also said that I take most of the blame for the way I reacted, but that doesn’t mean the situation didn’t have a root cause.
Before we get into that, here are some things I’ve learned: Never apologize more than twice. If you really feel it, don’t keep repeating it. Instead, apologize sincerely and then take steps to correct the problem. Allow the other person to collect themselves and decide if they want to continue communicating with you. You can’t force people to forgive you and that’s a part of life I appreciate. I offer a sincere apology, but if it is not accepted, I leave it between them and God. I refuse to be part of a cycle of grief or stay stuck in that situation. If someone enjoys being sad, I will not join in their sadness. I choose happiness and it’s okay if someone doesn’t want to forgive me, but I won’t leave my life waiting for them to get out of that situation. That can never be me again. If I have a goal, my attention will be focused on that goal.
So, this is what I did. I invited this person over, made good food, and tried to make sure everything was okay. We had a conversation about the situation, as we had done several times, and discussed how to improve communication. But at the end of the day the same thing always happened: when it seemed like I was feeling better and happier, this person would start acting sad. They would sit in another room and wait for me to ask them again what the problem was. This way, we would repeat the same problem repeatedly, keeping it fresh and unsolved. This person would be happy with everyone but me. Meanwhile, we had mutual friends who had deeply offended them, and yet they communicated with those friends. My situation was different; It went from being a simple offense to a search for my happiness.
I realized that the only time they wanted to stay on the phone with me was when we were discussing that topic. If I tried to mention anything else, they would quickly lose interest and want to end the call. They thrived on this topic, trying to make me feel bad. I recovered, which didn’t sit well with them. In our last conversation, they kept repeating the same topic and I got tired. I logged out of the chat and ignored them.
The lesson I want to share today is that no one is perfect and no one should play God in your life. Some people will use an offense to control and manipulate you, revealing bad behaviors that they would not otherwise be able to carry out.
It’s time to stop asking for forgiveness and start focusing on yourself and your goals. If they want to stay stuck in the past, let them stay there alone. Life is fragile; Don’t let anyone bog you down in a situation that can be changed forever. Be your own source of strength, pray and move forward.
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