Gaza City – When I look out the window this morning, the Israeli army tanks are just a few hundred meters away. Apparently they penetrated deep into the center of Gaza City during the night.

My two year old just fell asleep under the window. Awake all night and frightened by the sound of gunfire, he has been living on powdered milk and cereal for four days – his lips are dry.

In the last few days, we have become increasingly aware that we cannot survive the bombing of Israel much longer.

Fear and deprivation are our constant companions – we fight around the clock.

My parents, in their 60s, have not taken their daily medications for more than a month. They defy terror and illness at the same time.

My attempts to go out and get her medication had all failed. It is no longer possible to get to the pharmacy – both the pharmacy and the streets are destroyed.

The explosions are getting closer by the minute

Like hundreds of other families, we cannot leave Gaza City and go south – it is too dangerous. We are forced to stay by the relentless bombing of all the main roads leading to the south of the strip.

At night we men maintain a mask of fragile strength so that the women and children have hope of feeling somewhat safe. Really, we are all worried and scared.

As the fighter jets hover overhead all night, the sound of ground missiles fired from military tanks is even more frightening: what happens if we get hit by one?

The explosions get closer by the minute and shake the building. It can certainly only be a matter of time before the artillery hits our walls. If we are hit, it is very likely that all 30 of us crammed into a two-room apartment – including children, the elderly and fleeing neighbors – will be killed.

As the day progresses, another form of torture emerges, adding to the psychological warfare we endure. Thirst and hunger.

We always went out to find whatever we could – clean water or canned food. However, for a few days now it has been completely impossible for us to move around the neighborhood. We have a difficult choice: stay inside and hungry or risk being shot if we go out.

If you can safely manage to beat the hour-long line at a humanitarian emergency shelter for clean water, you’re in luck.

“Happiness” is when you die without suffering

Those who get the opportunity to say goodbye to their loved ones are even luckier.

And if you die without suffering, you have the greatest happiness of all.

Entire families died during the ground invasion and were discarded where they bled to death. There is no safety anywhere – neither in hospitals nor in churches, mosques or schools.

What were once the most beautiful places in Gaza are now the locations of a horror film. They are mostly reduced to black debris.

Israeli ground attacks throughout the city center have wiped out every facet of our lives. The fighting not only endangers our lives, but also forces us to struggle with the lack of food and water.

Death is everywhere

Death is everywhere, as is destruction. Bodies lie on the streets on the rubble of destroyed buildings.

Injuries do not receive medical attention. All health facilities and emergency services are out of operation.

Hospitals have become a battle zone as Israeli troops storm them, denying thousands of civilians the right to medical treatment.

The military tanks stationed on the ground and the snipers on the high-rises have enveloped the city in fear and death. We expect an impending telecommunications and internet outage that will soon leave us in the dark.

As we wait to be cut off, emergency services and civil defense forces, as well as ordinary citizens, are making desperate attempts to communicate with the outside world. The news suggests a possible temporary ceasefire, but we need a full ceasefire.

For more than 40 days, life has become more and more dangerous and unbearable.

Survival is our everyday life and we lose hope that we can carry on for a few more days.

My family and I now hope that if we die, we will die peacefully. If we want to live, we just want to live peacefully. None of these options seem likely at this time.